Katy Perry, a woman who can say her hair’s at least once gotten caught in the wheels of her spinning peppermint bra, has naturally run into obscenity kerfuffles a few times during her career. She’ll probably run into a few more, and they’ll always be the same:
1) Artist travels to country whose decency norms are different from the United States
2) Artist gets saucy as always
3) Someone complains
4) HWFO, which tends to devolve into mocking said decency norms
5) The whole thing’s resolved with consequences that amount to roughly $11.70, or the cost of one flash mob.
And so we have this story. The specific details slot in easily enough. The singer is Katy Perry (plus cricket player Doug Bollinger and Bollywood star Amitabh Bachchan, among others.) The country’s India. The saucy move is some sort of grinding cricket swing, a photo of which you can see at the (sorry) Sun. The accusation is general filthiness–well. The accusation is general filthiness that distracted students from exams.
AND: STORY. We’ve all been there, right? You’re sitting for an exam. Let’s call it a world history exam for these purposes. And you’re on a roll, whizzing through solid work; you’ve gotten through one blue-book page and everything. Then you look up and there’s Katy Perry, in mid-gyration, being all indecent and existent in front of you. The professor doesn’t seem to care. Not does the proctor. When you ask her to stop, she just talks in platitudes about being brighter than the moon and a wide-awake dancing flame. You end up failing the exam because your exegesis of French Revolution-era texts turns into a mash note mid-sentence. It’s so much of an epidemic that professors are having to take drastic measures to keep them all from failing; there’s even been an uptick in reports of grade inflation that’s suspiciously timed to an uptick in Katy Perry concerts. Look it up, it’s irrefutable.
Anyway, we await the eventual conclusion of this case on July 31, at which point not much of consequence will happen to Katy Perry. But those students, though. Exam scores are something you can never, ever, ever take away from them. We’ve got to hyper-vigilantly think of them.
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