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Saturday, May 30, 2015

Drake: Hip Hop’s Whiniest Little Bitch

Drake Hip Hops Whiniest Little Bitch

 Drake likes to front like he’s a bad -ass rapper, the forgotten member of NWA, and possibly involved in Tupac’s murder.

In reality, he’s a 28 year-old Canadian mama’s boy who went to Degrassi High. His real name is Aubrey and his whole career is predicated on bitching, whining, starting fights in nightclubs and then letting his entourage finish them, while he sneaks out the back way to get high in his limo with a stripper.

His videos are a virtual Mobius strip of him getting effed over by bangin’ bitches, which proves he did not heed predecessor Bell Biv Devoe’s warning to never trust a big butt and a smile. Also, his real name is Aubrey. I know I said it already but it bears repeating.

Here is the evidence;

1)   Takes more selfies than a Kardashian.

2) When Drake found out that Rolling Stone decided to put Phillip Seymour Hoffman on the cover, ‘cuz, ya know…. he DIED, Drake hopped on Twitter to bitch like a bitch-ass trick.

Later he apologized for whining in a note full of spelling and grammatical mistakes, which only means his PR team made him, but don’t include proof reading in their services.

“I completely support and agree with Rolling Stone replacing me on the cover with the legendary Phillip [sic] Seymour Hoffman. He is one of the most incredible actors of our time and a man that deserves to be immortalized by this publication. My frustration stemmed from the way it was executed. The circumstances at hand are completely justifiable (on the magazines [sic] behalf), but I was not able to salvage my story or my photos and that was devastating. They ran the issue without giving me a choice to be in it or not.”

3)   In Pound Cake, Drake threatens to have everyone who picked on him in high school go through security clearance at his class reunion. I wonder if he’s be willing to do my high school reunion, too.

4)   Looked like this in high school (see gallery below).

5)   Now he looks like this guy (see gallery below).

6) Takes bubble baths with a hookah pipe to try to project a more manly bath picture.

7)  His song  How About Now starts with a woman leaving Drake a message about how he flipped the script on her, leading him to go on a usual rant about how he wasn’t valued during the relationship and his feelings got hurt real bad, whaa, whaa, whaa.

8) Chris Brown sees Drake at a club, and sends him a bottle of champagne! Classy move, right? So what does Drake do? He sends the bottle back with a note that said, “I’m fucking the love of your life, deal with it.” Referring to Rihanna. What a punk!

9) Starred on the poor man’s Saved By The Bell, Canada’s very own Degrassi:The Next Generation.

 Whiny Lyrics:

10) Drake Hate Sleeping Alone (2011)

“I just hate sleeping alone.”

11) Jamie Foxx f/ Drake Fall For Your Type (2010)

“But it’s too late, cause I’m already yours/You just gotta promise me, hearts won’t break, and end up like before.”

12) Drake Karaoke (2010)

“I tried to keep us together, you were busy keeping secrets.”

Oh and his real name is Aubrey (did I already mention that?)

 

 

 

 

 


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Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars—Now THAT’S How You Premiere A Damn Show!

Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars Premiere S3E1 Kendra Hank

Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars is back! And this season is arguably the most insane season yet because Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett are airing their dirty laundry (and we do mean DIRTY) out for all to see…again. And we, along with Kendra, are all waiting to hear from Hank’s mouth exactly what happened between him and the transexual model that he allegedly had an affair with.

But before we get to Kendra and Hank, let’s take a look at the other minions of this season…which is basically everyone else because really, who cares?

First we have Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame and his girlfriend Lauren. They used to date in college and now they’re back together. Their problem is basically Mika and his addiction problems, along with the fact that he’s facing some pretty serious jail time for something that they’d rather not speak about. *Cough* Tax evasion.

Next is Tami and Reggie. Tami was on Basketball Wives and is apparently cray cray, but she’s also a big ol’ cougar because she’s at bootcamp with her boytoy who is 17 years her junior. Their problem is that she’s already done the marriage and the kid thing with another dude and she think she’s too old to do it all over again.

Then there’s Aubrey O’day and her boyfriend Travis. Their major problem is Aubrey and her selfish ways, but she also argues that Travis is jealous and possessive.

“He’s jealous and he creates conflict hour after hour,” Aubrey said.

“It’s not attractive when a woman tells you she’s going to fuck someone else,” he shot back. Touché.

Lastly there’s Jordan and Jeff who met on Big Brother and are now engaged. They’re pretty damn near perfect and it’s kind of dumb that they’re on this show, but hopefully there will be some deep seated issues that spring up for our entertainment.

Ok, back to Kendra and Hank. So the first exercise that the couples were faced with was a mock wedding. This was especially interesting considering only one of the five couples is married. When each couple went up to the altar in front of therapists Jim and Elizabeth Carroll, someone in the crowd objected to the marriage essentially giving them a dose of reality. For some people it was a friend, for others it was a concerned fan, but for Kendra and Hank it was Kendra’s mom Patti! What a lunatic this woman is!

Kendra was shocked to see her mother standing there ready to give her objections and she immediately grabbed Hank’s hands to show that they were putting up a united from against crazy Patti.

“She has written me off my whole life,”Kendra said. “I can’t catch my breath. I feel like I’m about to have a panic attack. It’s the same feeling as if you were being approached by a shark. A great white shark.”

And Patti smelled blood.

“I get the impression that you hate me,” Patti said condescendingly.

“She’s said it from the start. She said the day she lost her daughter was the day he proposed to me,” Kendra yelled. “You sell us out to the tabloids! The devil has eaten yout soul!!!”

“Awwwww, poor Kendra,” Patti replied.

WHAT the actual fuck is going on here? Is this real life? All the other couples were witnessing all this go down with their jaws literally on the floor. Eventually Jim and Elizabeth separated Kendra, Hank, and her mother and the other couples all gathered to talk about the shit storm that just took place.

We are in for quite the season, and you don’t want to miss any of it. So check back with Popdust every Friday night for a recap of the drama!


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The Duggars Respond To Josh’s Child Molestation Scandal, Via Funny Or Die Video

Duggars Respond Child Molestation Funny Die Video

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have finally come forward to tell their side of the story when it comes to their oldest son Josh’s sexual molestation scandal—kind of.

Funny Or Die has skewed the two 19 Kids and Counting stars in a hilarious new video—and you can watch it right here on Popdust.

As previously reported, In Touch Weekly published a sealed 2006 police report last week, in which, the 27-year-old devout Christian confessed to molesting at least five underage girls when he was a teen—including his own sisters.

Shortly after the scandal broke, Duggar released a statement admitting the molestation, and expressing “regret” over his actions.

Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends.

I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life.

He also announced he was resigning from his position as the Executive Director of the hate group uber conservative Christian anti-gay Family Research Council Action, where he has previously espoused the belief that LGBT people pose a threat to children.

Jim Bob and Michelle released a statement on their Facebook page, talking about how Josh’s “bad mistakes” ultimately drew the family “closer to God”

Back 12 years ago our family went through one of the most difficult times of our lives. When Josh was a young teenager, he made some very bad mistakes and we were shocked. We had tried to teach him right from wrong. That dark and difficult time caused us to seek God like never before.

Even though we would never choose to go through something so terrible, each one of our family members drew closer to God. We pray that as people watch our lives they see that we are not a perfect family. We have challenges and struggles everyday. It is one of the reasons we treasure our faith so much because God’s kindness and goodness and forgiveness are extended to us — even though we are so undeserving.

We hope somehow the story of our journey — the good times and the difficult times — cause you to see the kindness of God and learn that He can bring you through anything.

Barf.


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